I have spent so long writing and speaking for others, while living through their quotes, my originality has waned. It took a long time for me to be real and not live through colloquialisms. I have my own stories to tell, they are not meant to change your life, judge your actions or directives in your daily world. I tell them because they are the voice of my thoughts with a mixture of imagination, hopes, and reality. The full circle of it is that it is the only way I communicate safely, or is it. I found out that even when the internet is published regardless of the amount of followers, everyone has an opinion. The bell curve of thought begins and it is the outliers that are brazen and remembered, bad or good. Why can’t the curve close into a circle it does, only to connect with another, flowing infinitely eventually leveling at any point. To be shy and not write or write to others opinions is without internal emotional freedom. However to write without intention of compassion leaves no one satisfied. Conversation written or verbal is meant for connection, your level is dependent on your own reality of compassionate communication from within your self.

I don’t want to live in a world where I have to be told how to think, feel and believe, no one does. Manipulators who fish and/or change the situation for their individual benefit will tell you it is for the best, because they care, while the whole time only using you until they get what the need and dropping you the second you aren’t needed. They are the corporations that run this world, they are depleting our natural resources because they think they will always find a way to get what they need, when the only thing you can take to the grave with you is your conscience. To me conscious is being aware how you affect others and dealing with your own personal hang ups. Everybody brings their issues to the conversation it is how well you know yours and what you do to counteract it, if negative, that makes you an individual.

At times I feel what ever I say someone has said before but just my cover twist of their tune. True lasting invention is filling a unknown needed void. Invariably coming from the phrase “wouldn’t it be nice”. Although it is the person that puts action into that statement is the inventor rather that the idea maker and rightly so. I think I have to write just to get the other thoughts out of mine. I don’t think that is selfish, I think of it as stepping out of the ditch.

-Jennie Nawrocki

I have been thinking a lot lately about hugs, all types of hugs. I have always wondered why the best hug is a bear hug when no one would really want to hug a bear for fear they would be killed; the same is a boa constrictor hug you till all your breaths dissipate. I remember when I was a little girl I couldn’t wait for my brothers to come home from wherever they were, they would give me the hugest hugs. Being so small I would normally jump towards them and they would pick me up and wrap me in their arms. My feet never touched the ground I literally felt as though all my troubles were swept away in that one hug, I never felt so loved and protected.

I certainly have had many hugs since, hugs of all sorts but none like those. It is amazing what a hug can do; I think being held with love is more powerful than anything else someone can give you. It gives you strength, courage, support and a general feeling of being wanted, being loved. I think that is why the stereotype of woman prefer to cuddle rather than have sex, an orgasm lasts a short time but a hug lasts so much longer and it can be done in public too. I also think that is why the rumor is that guys tend to not cuddle with women unless they really love them. For me, a person never the norm, a simple hug gives me more self-confidence in any situation than even that famous liquid courage otherwise known as alcohol.

I am not much of a drinker, most people will tell you this. That is not to say I haven’t had my fair share of drinking till completely wasted evenings, I don’t know many who haven’t but over the years my drinking has become more ritualistic. I discovered long ago that drinking was a truth serum for me as well as a way to separate my body from my mind. It is like Gumby is stuck with George Washington’s brain. For that reason I couldn’t conceive of drinking at work, nope the only people I drink with are people I trust. What my drinking looks like these days is one drink watered down over the course of the evening as a way of being socially polite. If I have two drinks, I must trust the people around me but normally stop there. If I have shots or get totally drunk (which hasn’t happened in an extremely long time) then I know that the people with me will not let cars run me over as I cross against the light, true story. If I don’t drink at all I am just being me nothing more, nothing less. It took many times for me to get to this point, I had have many men and “friends” take advantage of me during these evenings of drinking during my life. The ones that didn’t I have more respect for even to this day than some of the people I encounter on a daily basis.

You may think I have digressed from the original topic, I didn’t, I wanted to give you some background as to why a hug could give a girl more courage than anything thing else, including alcohol. When you give someone a hug you are telling that person I like you enough that I will put myself in a vulnerable stance so that you can put your arms around me. For this reason hugs are a demonstration of emotion towards others. You don’t give hugs to just anyone, you give hugs to those you want to show trust and love and want to see the same in return. That doesn’t imply that some hugs are fake, some are and you know when they are, you might as well feel like you are holding a refrigerator, because that is what this type of hug is frigid. The warmth of the hug determines the comfort of the situation and the type of relationship it is, this shouldn’t be news to anyone.

When you feel a real pleasing hug one in which your bodies feel they melded together and form one whether it is friendly, familial, or sensual. It can be and is for me the most empowering thing I have ever encountered. Also helps if the person smells good too even without an added fragrance. It allows to you to feel comfortable enough to give you a sense of security with that person or the people in the situation. You feel protected from judgment and criticism, giving your self-confidence 5 energy boosts with one simple hug. You embody this feeling that you can do anything you always wanted and you didn’t even have to go to Vegas to feel that way. You just feel wanted, you feel loved, which is all anyone wants.

It is interesting I have had many hugs over time and some of the more genuine hugs came from people I didn’t long for or expect. They came from people who really cared even if it wasn’t as obvious. I feel bad that at the time I didn’t give them the hug back they deserved.

I wasn’t quite sure where I was going with this but when I write I express my emotions and when I hug I give those same emotions and so much more. I wanted to give you my faithful readers that give me a strong flawless foundation of support as I write in order for you to read, this is my way of giving you a hug. In that, I give you my truth, my protection, my love, I hope you do the same.