Once I wrote here

In a poem long ago

“My innocence lost”

For years humans have read that

Interpreting it as

I confessed a crime

Thinking they know me everything about me saying I live in denial well I did live in denial

For when it was written

The meaning was

No longer was life

A Disney movie always with happy endings

Just knowing that some were

Out there not being Pollyanna’s

But were actually mean, disrespectful and vengeful

Learning this world had humans filled with selfish loathing

It was the end of trusting everyone you meet, thinking really humans had only good intentions

It was like learning about the Easter Bunny all over again

Reality had a completely new outlook

So much so that humans are buying guns to protect themselves

Our world is becoming locked doors and questioning everyone you meet

Double checking things to make sure you aren’t swindled

We have come to the point of not having trust in the justice system or government

Who do you trust

If you have to pack a gun

Is it so bad you need to protect yourself everywhere you go

Has everyone become a military member always facing an enemy

Is the world so bad that trust has to be earned and not a given

Is trust so bad you have to pack a gun just to go to the grocery store

That is the innocence lost

That is this world showing itself

Really thought and hoped the world wouldn’t be like this

That neighbors got along

Strangers kept to themselves and if we did meet someone new and different we didn’t automatically think the worst would happen

What world do you live in

What world do you want to live in?

Do you live in the innocence of a childhood cartoon with only happy endings or do we live in Escape From?

Where is the present, or the future ?

How Pollyanna and innocent is your outlook on life?

This is my world

This is my struggle

Wanting the world to only have trust of safety even if it is a stranger.

-Jennie Nawrocki

You know something is wrong when even your childhood favorite memories can’t get you happy.

Internal motivation completely gone.

What do you do?

How to be like Peter Pan and find your happy place

You want to fly

Fly, fly, fly like a bird.

Where is the future

It seems dark

This hole you dug yourself in

Dig, dig, dig your way out

Reverse, regroup, replan

Survive all you have to do is survive

Survive you survive

-Jennie Nawrocki

In the night

Our bodies motionless

Covered with bedding

Back stomach or side

We breath steadily

How long is it today

4, 5, 6, 7, 8 if you’re lucky

The demands so much

Here there everywhere

Talking with all those

You need to survive

But here is just

Images of fantasies to

Horrors of nightmares

You never know

What occurs

Even your childhood home

Minds living life

While the body is just motionless

Maybe that is why there is

REM

You are watching movies

I should have researched it

But for now I will

Just lay motionless

Watching images

With my eyes closed

-Jennie Nawrocki

The strategy always was and is

Accuse, manifest then ask questions later

Quickly associate a label, concept or action with a person

Before they know or can even respond and if you let them respond it is already out there

The way they do this keep things from leaking is to keep you in a certain circle

They love divide and separate

If you can’t get the word out or even disprove or campaign against them they win

The more they control speech the better

Which as we know is against the first amendment

Forcing people into only talking to certain people isn’t the first amendment

First it wasn’t you couldn’t talk to this or that friend or family because their toxic

Now reporters and talk shows are unable to interview because the person is toxic

Soon the only non toxic people will be the chosen ones

Remembering correctly that is only less than 500 humans out of 7 billion humans

Are you really being represented?

Really is that free speech?

If your platform is strong you don’t need to stop others from their platform

-Jennie Nawrocki

Yes the media has become more specific or explicit.

Even this poetry blog has.

Why because people weren’t understanding.

So continue to write about wood Taylor Swift.

My apologies Taylor.

-Jennie Nawrocki

Seeing a play about a marriage

It went through one of the toughest challenges of emotional strength

Throughout the narrative

Most would yell, say expletives, separate, not even speak

But this couple only used the most supportive language heard

Not one demeaning insult

Just questions

Such as

What does this mean

How do we work through this together

In life found myself clinging, wondering how could I change towards this direction

Every relationship that wasn’t full of mockery and disdain and constant negativity

How can that all change

to a day filled with love

That was my search that was my passion

To learn, to grow, to exhibit and portray something that wasn’t in my house of solitude , even when seemingly surrounded by others

Wanting love isn’t bad it is giving love in the hardest of times that is the true test of a human being or person

-Jennie Nawrocki

The Golden Globes as always is a group of talented people, humans who worked so hard throughout their lives. Each nomination and most likely some unnominated deserve praise.

The clothing was still awe inspiring.

But my attitude towards it has gone from

Oh my gosh celebrities are so royalty, unattainable status to admire.

To

Oh my gosh could that be my friend.

To

They seem to have met me, they know me and made up their mind about me.

What to do now?

Since moving back to Washington

It is apparent that those around me are upset that you even knew who I was or that there was any contact between us.

To them you are playing them and not being yourselves.

So the only contact is your namesake.

But in the real world supposedly have had more contact with celebrities than those you are portraying.

They forget since being demoted or cancelled you knew me before and in some scenarios were closer to me than my own family.

Then Trump, Trumped it all saying you will be Trump or his serfs.

Trump is a dictator!

We are arguing and if you remember the movie Roadhouse somehow once wanted to be Patrick Swayze character but instead slowly been demoted to Red.

Where because I won’t pay my home is destroyed and I pay through the damages received. So I lose money either way.

TRUMP HEAR THIS: JENNIE NAWROCKI WILL NOT SUPPORT YOU OR YOUR REGIME AND REPRESENTATION.

As for everyone else in the world finding you either misguided by Trump or what are you thinking?

So it leaves me more distant than ever as either

We are civil because NO TRUMP.

You are around me but don’t want to be.

You are a celebrity and am told you shouldn’t even know me, let alone talk with me.

Seriously what to do now?

Some say I was the “acting or portrayed head of companies” but never sent out any authoritarianism emails.

Always said we have a relationship not because you are paid as an employee or friend or family.

Don’t believe in mail order spouses or indentured servants and definitely don’t believe in slavery so all those assumed contracts and presently assumed contracts are dissolved torn up and non existent in my mind and worlds.

You don’t pay your mom to be your mom so I won’t pay my family to be my family, just as I don’t pay my friends and as far as I know I have no businesses except Penaugural LLC and as right now I am the CEO and CFO with no other employees.

Also if I am your employee you should be paying me not me paying you. So again I don’t work for you and you don’t work for me as Penaugural LLC. doesn’t have employees.

So again won’t take bribes and don’t believe in bribes or paying for friendship.

Oh what to do now?

If you let me know you are my friend Trump and those around me will say I shouldn’t have friends or a husband.

But we know each other and supposedly like each other

What now?

-Jennie Nawrocki

Find your purpose in life

You don’t need any resolutions

Believe me if it coincides with your goals or 5 or 10 year plan

It will be a habit

Because you already have the internal motivation

That my two cents this week anyway

Did you ask for it no

But did I write it anyway

Yes

Because I like writing

-Jennie Nawrocki

Is it fate or coincidence?

Someone once told me the world is determined you get what you got coming.

Anything you receive you deserve

My question is when is it the other persons responsibility?

You are rude someone is rude to you

But what about

Starvation do we blame Mao or those that starved because they deserved it

Babies dying because no medical attention

A boat that rams into a bridge do the cars with humans blame themselves for driving over that bridge that day

A crack in the sidewalk the city or you for not watching where you are walking

An epidemic you not wearing a mask or patient zero

The person who received a finger or hair in their coffee bag

An genocide or slavery you for having a certain DNA, religion or preference

Domestic violence all because you said or did the wrong thing

A road disappeared due to storms

Why have lawyers, courts and HR if everything that happens to you is what GOD has planned for you

Everything bad or good that happens in your life is your fault because you deserved it

Don’t ever blame someone else you caused it all to happen to you.

But then I heard the term collateral damage

Like a pawn in a chess game in order to win you have to sacrifice

Are you to blame because you were the one sacrificed?

Isn’t human or animal sacrifice was illegal.

Seriously is this our fate and we can’t do anything or are we just collateral damage.

-Jennie Nawrocki