There are days that by the second it seems I have been torn to shreds by something or someone.  It has made me lose my trust in people almost completely.  The only thing I have going for myself is some silly thought that people can’t be that horrible.  So when I see something and feel I should follow it. For what I understood it to be is for the good of all, basically society as a whole.  I trust it hesitant maybe but still give it a go, why because even if I am gullible and fall for some dirty trick again at least in the process I didn’t go against what I stood for in the first place, community of peace and togetherness.

-Jennie Nawrocki 

People often wonder why I’m not closer with my mother.  Why isn’t she my best friend.  I have spent much of my social media life trying to not talk about it, didn’t want to air family dirty laundry in public but there is this rumor that I don’t love her or want to be around her.  I have to tell you people who believe that then you don’t understand I have spent my whole life trying to have relationships that don’t involve her regardless of all the love I have for her.  Why?  I will explain.

When young I didn’t have many friends and the ones I did were great.  Though all that time never did I hear the words “Why don’t you invite ________ to dinner, movie, or camping?”  I had one birthday party with peers my own age.  In high school I was 18  and at my first job, of course in a pizza parlor but that is beside the point.  I was invited to be with all my work people for a late night snack at one of those all day diners.  Called my mom if I could go she said “be home in 20 mins” it took 20 minutes to drive home.  I didn’t go and was never asked again.  In college she was across the country and I wasn’t.  I was able to see and go places with no problems.  I learned then what having friends was like, for instance someone who would climb into a trunk of a car with you so I wouldn’t have to be alone and we could all go have dinner together. There are more, like staying up all night together because the other one had too.  These things I remember.  Before I finished my masters my mom was within a short driving distance.  Slowly we visited more and more went lots of places together and then it started again.  We got into a big argument because I went into town to talk with a friend during a extended week family reunion, I got back and she threatened to disown me if I left again my brother smiling at our conversation, enjoyed every minute of it.  Then last year I called and she asked if I had “made any friends where I am” and I told her “no” and she giggled slightly as she said “good” as if she had something to do with it and was very excited about it. So what did I do during this time growing up with pretty much only my mother I lived in what I termed sometime since that last phone call Lala Land, I know it was just a coincidence that movie came out with the same title.  Though somehow I will probably never make it because coincidencly also the movie No Rules Apply occurred not that my life was or is in movies because then I would be crazy.  So to my family possibly expecting me home, I will be home in 20 minutes as soon as I figure how.  Don’t worry mom I still haven’t made any friends for I know I am not allowed.

-Jennie Nawrocki 

Guys and gals we have all heard of man-splaining, well if you haven’t it is that posture of man while sitting.  Legs ever so spread as if squeezing man parts is the equivalent of being kicked in the balls.  Now stay with me gentleman, I understand it I completely do, whenever I sit I always find myself sitting crisscross applesauce if I am able.  

Though this is not about that type of man-splaining.  This is about another type of man-splaining.  Have you ever seen two men if given the opportunity they will not sit in seats directly next to each other.  I went on the train and found a seat available between two men, they weren’t talking and didn’t seem associated with one another.  Though as we started towards the next stop they started talking over me or through me or whatever way you want to say it.  I as a kind gesture started to to ask would one of them like to switch seats.  I received such anger back.  I didn’t understand, the only thing I could think of was they needed to man-splain.  After a few exchanges of conversations back and forth I think one gentleman got it, I was truly just trying to be friendly and curtious.  So for those of you who still think man-splaining is necessary to keep your testosterone, I give you this photo of two well respected men who only scream masculinity even when they are sitting side by side.

-Jennie Nawrocki 

A new year brings time for reflection.  Today, I thought of the seven deadly sins, don’t ask me why these topics get in my head. Though I had to look because I could name some but not the others.  I guess some people have the same problem naming the 8 reindeer or the seven dwarfs.  Well in case you haven’t tried already they are envy, gluttony, greedy or avarice, lust, pride, sloth and wrath.  As I looked at that list completely for the first time I realized I focused on some but not all because I may work towards not being envious or full of wrath but my pride, lust, and sloth behavior seem to skyrocketed.  Here I am talking about caring for others and I have these bad habits how hypocritical can I be?  Ugh!  Well it is time for me in my new year reflection is to find the difference between lust and love, dispel the hopelessness that has contributed to my laziness and stop to think I have some faults that are diminishing.  Can it be done? The part of me that doesn’t believe in hope says “no”, however I am sure now that I read them more thoroughly I can honestly say to that person who asks what do you want to achieve in the next year, five years, ten years?  For the entire world to realize that the power of positivity along with kindness will solve any dispute.  Secretly though I would like to add maybe have a secure future for many years with a husband.  Side note if anyone thinks this is too preachy or gushy foolishness and want to say no you can’t have it than might I ask why are you being such a fuddy duddy and where’s your temperance, diligence, humility, self-control, kindness, and love.  Again this is the reflection of myself for the new year, what is your reflection?

-Jennie Nawrocki