Monthly Archives: July 2013

Happenings

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I saw the pain
I felt the hurt
again, again
where did I go wrong?
wanted to be better
so the teasing
would cease forever
each fault I corrected
more were revealed
until there was
nothing but emptiness
a person void of emotion
was developed
reacting to survive
for it didn’t matter
good never lasted
because happiness
was always
the first to go
held as ransom
until I do as told
for incapable were my decisions
unsafe were my choices
every plan, every movement
has been cancelled out
meet this person
do this, it’s important
unable to live
without another
however, I eat, sleep
alone every night
soon the days filled
with unnecessary conversation
tainted with structured words
are dispersed
even from those with my own DNA
it’s good for you
we know what is best
so you must concede
whether or not we’re right
for more is in store
don’t worry if you get mad
we’ll write a prescription
just live here
everything will be clear
no worries, no work
it was honorary anyway
fill in the gap, until you comeback
this is what you need
rest your mind
for it is all figured out
towers of opportunity
we have arranged
guarded to assure safety
from those interactions
that we see unfit
for our goal
is for you to surrender your soul

-Jennie Nawrocki

Surprise

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surprise brings floods
dew drops screaming
sadness of shock
alternatively brings
overwhelming excitement
gleaming smiles and laughter
there is nothing in between
though the mixture
has happened
illuminating intensely
situations occurring
at that second
exploding information
deemed forthright
to get you here when
surprise brings floods

-Jennie Nawrocki

Schedule

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schedule is filled
no minute to spare
lots to finish
added responsibilities
as you go along
then it hits you
the curve ball
you know very well
family emergency
malfunctioning equipment
missing items
abrupt sickness
simply unable to help
there’s no stopping it
a force unwanted
blocking activities
quickly triage each item
creating a new
vantage point
to begin again

-Jennie Nawrocki

Decor

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created with thought
a figurine so delicate
sitting on the shelf
animals of porcelain
people in sculpted clay
images craved from wood
iridescent glow of glass
invoking feelings
pleasure ridden experiences
filling the room as decor
enhancing the ambiance
as people live
passing the days
in rooms made for shelter
made for comfort
sitting relaxed
enjoying the atmosphere
one little container
remembrance implies

-Jennie Nawrocki

Festival

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spit, spat people scattered
boothes line the aisles
food on a stick
wrapped in a bun
battered, deep fried
drinks iced
melt in the sun
spit, spat people gather
buying trinkets
wearing costumes
or everyday flare
sun blazing in streams
between tents of merchandise
displayed for looks
spit, spat people congregate
what is hip, posh, gauche?
variety of choices
accept personal preferences
hear the conversations
softened by the music
playing for the masses
spit, spat people satisfied

-Jennie Nawrocki

Undeniable

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love undeniable
a presence unseen
tested for sure
either by ourselves
or others wants
how does it start
facing today
careers, families, kids
each other
a hug, a kiss
more importantly
a conversation
not of business
without inquiries
unimportant topics
showing who we are
when emotion surfaces
free of judgement
ease of mind
releases tensions
gives opportunities
allowing moments
to truly know
love undeniable

-Jennie Nawrocki

Blind Date

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She remembered that day very well as she was waiting for the waitress to come to her table. When she finally did she ordered without much conversation for she by now had no questions about the menu, it was all familiar to her.  The waitress recognizing her said, “what would you like today? ”

Not hesitating to order the chef’s specialty saying out loud to the waitress, “the beef stroganoff please.”  It was cold outside and she hadn’t had time for breakfast because of a meeting scheduled.  It would be very filling and warm to eat.  She didn’t cook beyond bbq’ing much, hardly ever actually, just learned to follow the directions on the box so coming here was like coming home.

The waitresses has been here for awhile you can tell they have lived hard lives supporting their families probably travel by bus or metro leaving their children to be at home by themselves because their father was non existent in their daily lives.  They were cheerful in their actions but there always seemed to be a bit of sadness to them.

Having told the waitress what she wanted she could relax.  Grabbing the latest tech magazine from her bag she was shocked to find a man sitting down on the other side of the booth in front of her.  A big stout guy with a shirt that couldn’t be tucked from the over hang of his kangaroo pouch of a belly.  Which didn’t match his pristine chiseled appearance of his face.  “It’s a little crowded in here so I thought I would sit down, here if you don’t mind.  The waitress said you didn’t have any company so I thought I would be yours.”

Amber sat staring blankly at him, as he continued to talk “The name’s Bartholomew but people call me Bart for short, not because I am short but because of my name although I am pretty short have been my whole life, don’t understand it I have such tall parents considerably.  You are pretty tall aren’t you? How tall? About five eight? I have always loved tall women. Hey, I like this place don’t you? Ordered the beef stroganoff hear it tastes like mom’s homemade.”

Having regretted ordering the beef stroganoff after this whirlwind of conversation.  She thought it probably wouldn’t have mattered he was going to order the same thing she had regardless.

Starting again after only a few seconds rest to take a drink of water. “Man I miss my mom she past away a few years ago, she was a good cook though, a real good cook.  How’s your cooking?  I like a pretty lady like yourself, I’d like her even more if she was a good cook?”  Finally ceasing his conversation, he looks at Amber waiting for a response.

Looking back at him completely silent and emotionless in her expression, but the audacity of this man was making her laugh, though she knew she couldn’t his obvious mommy issues were making her queasy.  Wondering what to do she started thinking of ways to get out of this situation, now.

Still haven’t heard anything Bart begins speaking again.  “I also go to the movies often you like the movies don’t you?  What am I talking about everyone likes the movies, seen any good ones lately?”  He only stopped because the waitress came with Amber’s food.

This was her chance, speaking only to the waitress, “Can I have this in a to go box?  I know I said I would eat here but I have some where I need to go.”  Thinking yeah home to take a shower all of a sudden this booth became very filthy.

“What’s the rush?”  Bart blurted “your food just got here and I could use the company please won’t you say, people say I always am a good person to have a conversation with, I can keep a conversation going for hours.”

Amber looking at him thinking this is ridiculous, can’t this guy take a hint she wanted to leave.

Trying to sweeten the deal Bart spoke again “I’ll even pay for your meal, in fact I already have?”

The waitress standing by not attempting to leave to go put her food in a to go box says, “He did pay for it.”  With a smile like it was the sweet romantic gesture.

What was Amber going to do now?  She like the waitress and the food here but felt absolutely violated and nauseated by this obvious set up.

In an encouraging tone the waitress says, ” You should go he seems like a good guy.”

Supporting her statement Bart replies, “Hey afterwards we can even go to a movie together.”

As much as she liked movies the thought was revolting.  The guy had no charm, common sense and was poorly acting off a script somebody gave him.  Who was it?  It didn’t matter, it was yet another attempt to get her to settle down in a specific way, in somebody else’s life that she did not want.  To her that lifestyle was the suburban lifestyle while she respected and even admired at times she couldn’t think of living it.  Although, she could be a soccer mom, she really wasn’t the type to intermix well with helicopter gossiping parents, whom she called soccer moms on acid.  That is what this gentleman screamed as he spoke every word. Which gave her an idea as to how she was going to get out of this surprise blind date she was on.  “That is really very kind of you to do, but I really should be going, I have to re-bandage this hand.  I don’t want to wait too long after I eat, it might get infected.”

Which wasn’t a lie the doctor said to watch the wound through tomorrow, he wasn’t sure about whether or not to perform surgery, she had to call him in the morning and tell him if and how it was healing.  He wanted to make sure he got out all the little pieces of sidewalk concrete dust out.  At this moment to Amber the thought of surgery was more pleasing than sitting at this table.

Maybe because she was a regular, maybe because she felt rejected herself, maybe out of compassion the waitress took her plate and simply said, “I will be back with a to go box.”

Very relieved Amber said, “Thank you.”

Bart then started to speak again, “Well now that’s a shame, sorry to hear about your hand.  Is there anything I can do?”

“Not really.” Amber replied.

“How about we take a rain check on the meal and movie, can I call you?”  Bart said hopefully.

Though before she could reply the waitress came back put the to go box on the table and left.  Then grabbing a 20 out of her purse she sets it on the table and says, “Here, I am sorry but I will be leaving town soon for work it may be weeks before I get a chance again.”

Almost forceful now holding her forearm Bart states,” At least give me your number, email, something?”

Pulling her arm away “I am sorry I have to go.”  With that she left the restaurant.

-Jennie Nawrocki

Family

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gathering tools
wiped clean
from todays duty
muscles sore
showing years
labor has brought
trailing behind
rolling crated supplies
walking for home
mere miles away
a bus
a train
an hour away
passing the pristine
towering skyscrapers
to houses barred
along windows
it’s decent
never luxurious
a roof provides
shade from heat
shelter from rain
barrier to wind
entering these
modest means
warm greetings
embody appreciation
we are family

-Jennie Nawrocki

Meadow

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standing in the field
surrounded by wildflowers
mountains shading distant views
trees spotted in groups
some singular in their stance
the valley comes alive
animals graze in the grass
relaxed from missing enemies
butterflies break the stillness
adding only to the beauty
uninterrupted for miles around
the meadow comes alive
words carry weight
traveling in the silence
nothing but natural glitters
disappear as the sun fades
turning towards tomorrow
when the valley comes alive

-Jennie Nawrocki