I think I should have a section of these that tell a little bit about my life. It is to not to say they didn’t before but really there is so much more that occurs than me sleeping well maybe not I do sleep a lot, today was no exception. After I had my afternoon nap I decided to enjoy the outside world eat some dinner, do some holiday stuff and the like.
I end up going to this place that served an loaded bagel sandwich and grits once so I had to go back and try something else on the menu. I ended up getting the corned beef hash, with home fries steamed vegetables and apple juice. I was right at the counter able to watch all what the cooks were doing. The food was tasty just like home cooking.
At one point I heard the cook say something about death and didn’t think much of it until a few minutes later all of a sudden I heard and saw people looking outside. There started to be lots of people gathering. Then the fire trucks and police cars and something about a pile of blood and a woman on the train. I asked specifically but they wouldn’t tell me, kinda shrugged and tried to go about their business as I tried to stomach the last bites I had. If I hadn’t been so hungry to begin with I probably would have pushed my plate but my body was fighting hunger and disgust all at same time.
Soon I finished and needed out of there, I was headed to 5:30 mass anyways but now I really wanted to go. Now I knew I wouldn’t get on the train there so I walked to the next train station on my way I looked at the scene there was a red blotch on the street and a blue and yellow striped tennis shoe. As I walked further I over heard three teenage girls one saying something very close to, she was stuck on the train, what else could she do? Again not resonating well with me. So then I decided to take a cab because I knew the bus would be in traffic as a result.
Once I got to yet another train station I saw two pigeons. They were on the train tracks walking. One on the rail and the other one jumping from wood board to wood board. When the train making lots of noise came they didn’t move until the train was within a few feet did they finally flew freely away.
Now I am not sure if the two are connected but whether it is interesting or horrid, it was not expected that is for definite. The unusually unexplainable events have occurred more than I would like in my life and unfortunately don’t seem to be winding down. So my readers in the past I would put this into a poem but today I thought I would write it out maybe it will solve some puzzles out there or at least that I have, until then be well.
There is something to be said for someone who perseveres through tragedy, either unsuccessfully or successfully. It takes abilities one never thought they had. While no one really close to me has passed away, I had tragedy in other ways. Many of you know I make mistakes often. Language wise you would not believe how many English teachers frowned at my works. In 6th grade my teacher would say from across the room “Can you spell the word girl?” Embarrassing, quizzical, and it basically put me on the spot in front of the whole class, though for some reason I always answered it correctly. However those pop quizzes never prepared me for the responses to my papers later on. I remember crying in a cafe when speaking to the head of the Special Ed department (my masters program) about my masters thesis introduction on teaching students with disabilities. I couldn’t tell you the amount of tears I cried over words on a page throughout my education.
Well this goes with relationships too, I haven’t many friends or friends that lasted long. It seems no matter what I do I am unable to maintain friendships. Most of the time rather than discussing with me about it, they just disappeared or made excuses as to why they can’t see me. Now I don’t equate these to other horrendous tragedies though they do humble a person completely.
Though the friends I do have are ones I can confide in or trust unequivocally and have heard my thoughts on this often. I am apt to think about it as the president goes to Cuba. It takes another perspective and new approaches to work through differences. One must remember mistakes so they don’t make them again, one must also remember how many versions of Windows and other items need updates to fix problems and accommodate increasing necessities. We all continue to persevere through our challenges.
They met many years ago, the two never knew anything of each other. Growing up in different cities, they had extremely different lives. The worlds they knew, the home town memories they had, don’t compare to when their lives entangled, permanently mixed and affected by one another. Strangers really, but knowledge seemed unconscious. Actions seemed parallel and similar. Though they never saw each other or had personal conversations. Just the feeling of their presence, within their thoughts. Something that saying choose this, why, it makes sense that’s all. Feeling that comfort of them together, undescribable, though forever desired.
People always ask me how I am doing? It is the usual small talk question that shows concern for someone. These statements of regular conversation are never insignificant, because they establish the relationship between people. How they are said, vernacular used and the body language that goes with it. Even when one is busy it is courtesy to have these. Though for some reason, I have misplaced them and start with subject matter. It is like eating the burger without the bun, lettuce, tomato, ketchup…you name it. These are conversation pieces that make communication. Why eat just the meat? Really it comes down to the past. My past, present and future, I interpret as very complex, to the most finite detail. I slowly am explaining its intricacies to you my readers. It is difficult to say the least, for so much public knowledge is tied to private things, I want to keep private. As a result, if you are working to build that perfect burger for every conversation? I am there with you.