Category Archives: thoughts

Man-Splaining

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Guys and gals we have all heard of man-splaining, well if you haven’t it is that posture of man while sitting.  Legs ever so spread as if squeezing man parts is the equivalent of being kicked in the balls.  Now stay with me gentleman, I understand it I completely do, whenever I sit I always find myself sitting crisscross applesauce if I am able.  

Though this is not about that type of man-splaining.  This is about another type of man-splaining.  Have you ever seen two men if given the opportunity they will not sit in seats directly next to each other.  I went on the train and found a seat available between two men, they weren’t talking and didn’t seem associated with one another.  Though as we started towards the next stop they started talking over me or through me or whatever way you want to say it.  I as a kind gesture started to to ask would one of them like to switch seats.  I received such anger back.  I didn’t understand, the only thing I could think of was they needed to man-splain.  After a few exchanges of conversations back and forth I think one gentleman got it, I was truly just trying to be friendly and curtious.  So for those of you who still think man-splaining is necessary to keep your testosterone, I give you this photo of two well respected men who only scream masculinity even when they are sitting side by side.

-Jennie Nawrocki 

Reflection 

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A new year brings time for reflection.  Today, I thought of the seven deadly sins, don’t ask me why these topics get in my head. Though I had to look because I could name some but not the others.  I guess some people have the same problem naming the 8 reindeer or the seven dwarfs.  Well in case you haven’t tried already they are envy, gluttony, greedy or avarice, lust, pride, sloth and wrath.  As I looked at that list completely for the first time I realized I focused on some but not all because I may work towards not being envious or full of wrath but my pride, lust, and sloth behavior seem to skyrocketed.  Here I am talking about caring for others and I have these bad habits how hypocritical can I be?  Ugh!  Well it is time for me in my new year reflection is to find the difference between lust and love, dispel the hopelessness that has contributed to my laziness and stop to think I have some faults that are diminishing.  Can it be done? The part of me that doesn’t believe in hope says “no”, however I am sure now that I read them more thoroughly I can honestly say to that person who asks what do you want to achieve in the next year, five years, ten years?  For the entire world to realize that the power of positivity along with kindness will solve any dispute.  Secretly though I would like to add maybe have a secure future for many years with a husband.  Side note if anyone thinks this is too preachy or gushy foolishness and want to say no you can’t have it than might I ask why are you being such a fuddy duddy and where’s your temperance, diligence, humility, self-control, kindness, and love.  Again this is the reflection of myself for the new year, what is your reflection?

-Jennie Nawrocki 

Pro life or Pro Choice 

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I have been thinking about how split our country is over the issues of life.  I want to preface this by giving a scenario.  While I am sure that the Pope would love everyone to become Catholic he knows that everyone isn’t. The Catholic Church even accepts its parishioners to attend Orthodox and Episcopal services if I remember correctly.  To take that further while The Catholic  Church may not accept other denominations of  Christianity it still likes the fact you have chosen Christianity.  Moreover,  Christians accept Judaism even though they don’t accept Jesus.  Christians respect Judaism otherwise we would be making the same mistakes of the Holocaust.  So we remember the ethic cleansing of Hitler’s was bad, so we learned to accept all religions including Islam, Hindu, and Bhuddism.  While we hope they may convert to one or the other we still understand there will always be different religions just as much as people are different.

Now America has always been a mixed salad of different cultures and religions.  Years ago we learned that banning interracial marriage was stupid “How dare an English person marry a Spaniard!” To even quote this ridiculous statement seems horrible.  Now we have interracial marriage and people didn’t approve of it back then.  So we as a country has embraced interracial marriage as a regular event, blended families are everywhere. 

So why can’t we accept the right to choose.  

Consider this radical thought process. In the past we also didn’t accept pre marital sex though we knew it was happening.  We even called children born out of wedlock “bastards” they were actually shunned, blacklisted for not having parents who were married.  We realized that a person isn’t bad just because their parents weren’t married.  In fact, so many people were divorcing and having sex out of marriage so long went practicing Catholicism and other Christian denominations were born.  So many adults were having consensual sex in and out of marriage birth control was invented.  People didn’t want large families or have a baby when they weren’t ready and they certainly didn’t want hidden abortions we have all seen Dirty Dancing, those type of abortions really did occur.  We love our birth control and are even trying a pill for men.  It was all a persons choice, even the Catholic Church has become a little lax on birth control.  So why don’t people respect the right for different religions stance on pro choice? 

While I believe every life is beautiful and believe me I even avoid killing insects when I can. In fact, I even taught special ed for several years so I know how wonderful people with disabilities are and without the technology we have today we wouldn’t have discovered the mastermind of Stephen Hawking.  Yes, every living being is gorgeous in every respect.  Though I also understand that as a woman turns older she is more prone to having a child with a disability.  So whether you take birth control because you don’t want to have children in your forties for maybe too large of a family, you feel done raising children or for whatever reason you have, including maybe you know you would be a bad parent and resent having the child, the world knows people are having sex in and out wedlock and demanded birth control as a result.  Science listened and gave people the right to choose.  For we know sometimes people make mistakes and forget or it breaks and the morning after pill was developed as a precautionary measure.  Allow people to choose it is their right just as choosing a religion or denomination of Christianity is your right.

-Jennie Nawrocki 

Millennials Technology 

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I have been around awhile, some people may even call me old.  Millennials that I am surrounded by grew up with technology.  They know it’s ins and outs and think nothing of it’s power for to them it is like a light bulb you can’t imagine life without it.  So when something new comes, the latest upgrade is necessary at all costs.  Though they don’t understand that it may not be thoroughly tested and know the bugs that arrive with the latest app, or how that may affect something or someone.  Think of drones, they have had a few mistakes before being able to be widely used or accurate in their delivery.  I remember the first self locking car, it could unlock any car with the same frequency not just one car your car.  That is like having a key to every house in the neighborhood, might as well not have locks then if everyone or even one person can get in all the houses.  Where is the privacy?  The sense of safety?  I know my stuff is safe because I know everyone who has access to it, but do you really?  Do you really know, with technology someone could be unlocking your things from next door or miles away, if they had the right codes and you wouldn’t even know it.  Though I guess for a millennial it doesn’t matter because sharing things with others is natural, every detail even possibly what underwear they are wearing that day.  It can be controlled right? Well remember technology is so sneaky that you may not even know and that #*%hole down the way could be the one with all your information putting it online under unusual names or simply leaving your home unlocked to anyone around. Good thing we know who has access to our computer, right millennials? or do we? because remember anyone at anytime is developing new controlling apps, including %^+hole 1 or #%^hole 2.

-Jennie Nawrocki 

Plan Tomorrow’s Successes

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I shan’t say the the hasn’t changed.  In the process we are all formulating our 5 or 10 year goals.  Supporting others achievements brings out our successes either through the butterfly effect or karma, your choice really.  Releasing those inhibitions, secrets and unrefined skills that only stop us completely.  I’m am no stranger to facing my demons of today in order to make it to tomorrow.  These challenges are our successes, our achieved goals, our future together.

-Jennie Nawrocki

 

War?

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Why do wars start?  We have heard of beauties abandoning their husbands for another man, to conquering the world by making only one country, then we have also heard of wars that free slaves or people who are oppressed in any way.  Entire nations have lost most of their population to killings for these reasons alone.  Some wars have cost more lives than some plagues or epidemics, so why is it we continue to have them? Why are there wars on earth? We have seen the destruction, we are taught about the atrocities that war brings in school as we study history.  However everyday you hear someone is fighting someone for some reason.  In India, Africa, the Middle East, Russia even in our own country you hear of gang wars, none of this is something to be proud of, we are still losing innocent people every day to violence, poverty and hunger.  War is not just guns and ammo it is deciding which foods to promote for surviving because there is even a war on obesity.  Again why must there be war? If there was one war, one war only we should focus on it and that is the war to bring kindness to all those around us.  It is not based on hatred at all.  Hatred of a person for what, because they were born in one city and you were born in another, or could it be because their DNA is only slightly different.  We all have bad genes even the Kennedy’s had siblings with disabilities.  A simple genetic trait, morphing of a DNA strand.  No one is immune of mutant DNA that causes disease or the freckle on your skin.  It is the precise reason we have war on our eating habits because our DNA is not perfect.  Of course there are some tests to see if you will have cancer or not but most of the time it is unknown, masked, attached to what you thought were fine genetic traits and they turn out not to be.  So when you hear of a nation like ours who went to war not once but twice over the color of ones skin, it really shows how unaccepting of differences between people and the way people are born.

Again why is there war? They say most of it is based on three things fear, power and money or all of the above.  I can understand completely the emotion of fear, we have all been afraid at one time or another and in most instances that is the result of lack of knowledge or experience or both.  Most fear is lessened through experience and education.  Although the power and money part I don’t understand.  I don’t understand how some find it easy to denounce someone for the want of money or to feel like they are better than someone else.  Most people say it is because we have never known what it means to have money and power.  The majority of people are not in the 1% as they say we do not have that status.  Which is why it is a bad example as my intent is not divide socioeconomic classes, for I have heard stories of people killing others for one dollar bill or of people stepping over bodies of others to get to the top of the ladder no matter what level they begin.  Though I always ask myself was it worth it, when listening to these stories?  Was it worth being deceitful, greedy and selfish all for what to be a leader?  Have you noticed the people revered for their leadership skills were well rounded individuals.  People like George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Roosevelt, Gandhi, and the Dalai Lama to name a few.  To gain the legendary status as excellent leaders they worked through killing oppression by being selective and specific in their dealings of others who wanted nothing more than to destroy.  Even when they achieved their goals they didn’t set out to conquer a nation or a group of people to be exactly like them they fought to be themselves and to let others be who they are.  They fought simply for the reason that the world is our neighborhood and rather than destroy others we help others, imagine a war where we all get to live knowing all we interact with are our friends.

-Jennie Nawrocki

Our Memorial Day

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This weekend we honor those that have served our country, whether they given their lives, served their homeland, or are currently in active duty.  This duty to your country has begun since people began living and building communities, each person served a purpose, each person had their duty.  Though in days past it was monarchs who ruled with their advisors the governed kingdoms had their rulers and the majority be peasants.  During some of these times societies and cultures flourished as each person had what they needed, where everyone was provided for and the average citizen felt important, take care of, safe.  Those people in those societies have what every person vies for on a regular basis they had security, they felt everything would work out well.  The terror of impending invasion, war or general governmental unrest relies on the people we have elected into office, who intern rely on their branches of government to recruit those who are able to now interact on a global scale far more than ever imagined.  With the internet we are no longer several nations we are one community where everybody has access to what everybody else is seeing.  There is a new branch of service that each country is developing the technological branch.  World leaders are meeting together on very different levels than ever before because regardless of your background you have access.  The world is based on full connections that are very discrete in nature but very powerful in force.  Now the men in uniform use this world as a 4th dimensional or Z axis.  Some would say the final frontier was space though really we found unchartered territory in technology.  How does it all work?  How should we have it work?  There are people who have spent their lives learning to communicate in a format that serves beneficial diplomacy to all nations and backgrounds.  These are the same people that carry the seal of their country, nation, society.  They are in that role of leadership because of their commitment to enhancing the lives of everyone and everybody in their society as well as those around the world.  They don’t wine and complain and cry like babies when things don’t go their way they look at the situation and make decisions based on history of continual working flourishing societies and the sole need to create mutual respectful productive societies for everybody involved.  That is the conversation today, that is what this memorial day is about honoring those in uniform of all types in all ways agreeing for the lines of communication to remain open.  Agreeing that we in many ways are united nations living together for one purpose and one purpose only, to live in a world without terror towards an individual, race, religion, or country.  These are the memories we all want to have when look back at events past not whether we berate people but how we enhanced each others emotional security to a level never imagined.  It was how we lived, it is how we live, that is the memory to hold and maintain. to have a sense of emotional well being for not only ourselves but our country and the world as a whole.

-Jennie Nawrocki

The Wall

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A strange feeling when faced with calamity of a wall.  The wall has no openings and remains outside the realms of a body’s reach.  Its vast clear vertical surface  smooth and free of divots allows  no sections of which to hold onto it, for it only slides or releases materials that try gripping its front.  Even methods to climb over the wall are null and void as it seems to grow taller on approach.  Walking around finding there is no end to its borders completely become evident when one is present.  Built of material impenetrable and covered with paint invisible to the naked eyes.

How does one build a wall so vast with material so indestructible even drilling is not successful.  The owners wanted to hold violent attacks, evil intentions, crazy thoughts, and fools who are stupid to go along with wars of justice without cause.  The catches of societies who conform degenerates of the human race into believing that they are the greatest of everyone and that their ways are the only ways at least this is what the leader infuses into their cranial lobes. Their ultimate goal is to chop off the ones that don’t belong.  Those who speak, write, walk and look different then others are left behind unless they themselves conform to the populous, even then membership cannot be guaranteed for if you fall outside of the lines, you too are left.  This wall was built to allow freedom of thought, personal individuality, mutual respect, and honor compassion combined with empathy.

-Jennie Nawrocki

Support

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They say it takes a village to raise a child. In reality, it is a community of people that helps in the development of an individual. I expand on that statement and say it takes the world to raise nations. The idea of support is not a new one but what does that mean, what does it take to support someone or something?

Even in the beginning roles of people within families and within communities have always been divided. The men went out to hunt and protect while the women took care of the children and gathered items to build a home. The children would also do their part of supporting the family they would have chores helping either parent. To be a family has always be a collective of interweaving of abilities in order to, at its very basic level, survive. Each family in turn surviving was a part of a greater effort, a community, which in turn was a part of a village and the village was a part of a kingdom. This is nothing new all throughout history we have had societies with micro societies who have had even smaller societies.

When supporting someone in their community often people will purchase something or donate items to a local organization. This organization however may qualify as a tax-exempt charity or foundation or it may be that you give a little extra to your child’s little league team. However you support, most people doing it locally find it more beneficial because they see where their dollar or time is going. On the other hand, what makes a charity or a foundation according to my research is mostly defined through its ability to qualify under tax exemption status based on the percentage of contributions it receives and that it benefits communities or the environment (including animals). Though there is nothing out there that doesn’t say how beneficial to the community it should be.

We have all heard that when donating to a charity you have to ask or should try to figure out how much of each dollar actually goes to the cause it is trying to benefit or if most of it goes to operating costs rather than the people or things it intends to benefit. For example, a qualifying charity under the law by obtaining a certain number of donations, uses the majority of those donations to go to the mailing costs of getting donations should both the charity receive tax exempt status and the giver receive tax deductions when the dollar just went to pushing paper. There has to be something somewhere that states, if you are a charity or a foundation a certain percentage of the money should go to helping the cause it is intended to help. I think this would eliminate bad charities right from the beginning because you know that organization cannot exceed so much per dollar of operational costs. There is a little regulation in regards for this as charities cannot provide personal interest support and it has to pay its employees a reasonable salary with out bonuses or dividends. However yet there are many charities out there of which their services are really providing a business rather than supporting the environment or people.

This has been a big deterrent for people wanting to help others by giving their time or money to charities. People know there are so many charities doing the same thing or are intended to complete the same task but little is being done to help those who need. To the average person to hear there are over a million charitable organizations, within United States alone, making it a trillion dollar industry according to the Present Law and Background Relating to the Federal Tax Treatment of Charitable Contributions and it is still not enough. As a result most people live in with our feet glued to the ground as we are starting to not want to fund organizations because we are not sure they are actually benefiting and we don’t want to give to the homeless person on the street because we don’t know how they are going to use that money. What are left are our own volunteer hours but wait that isn’t recognized either under federal law as a donation, so some organizations do not take volunteers. Why can’t a company deduct the salary of an employee whose soul purpose is to volunteer for charities or foundations as a representative of the company? Wouldn’t that be better than just a big check? Or maybe a person who is retired get a tax break because to keep active they volunteered so many hours a week. Make the act of supporting our community by being personally present and aware of what is going on in our communities. We want to help our communities, provide the support they need, though we as a society are frustrated with where our time and money goes giving us another reason to be apathetic when issues arise.

Reading all this information I still say to give community your time, your abilities to help out where you can. How do I know this, I don’t claim to know much of anything but I do know that every story in which I have heard of a family suffering such as going through a hard time like the great depression or a war but also working towards living everyday. I remember hearing stories about barn raisings in rural pioneer communities. Everyone participated everyone was able to have a barn; everyone was a part of the community because they all shared in the task. No one came out profiting from another’s work only they each received the barn they needed in order to survive nothing more nothing less.

In the past without technology we weren’t dependent on other countries for our economy our survival. It is very apparent we live in a world where each country is dependent on several others combined economy so that local community has expanded to all the continents. No matter where you go I hear people worried about money, who wouldn’t be, it is a huge support to our way of life. However, that is not what makes this world run. I realize that this point could be hotly debated. It is the nature vs. nurture combined with what came first the chicken or the egg. The answer may not be clear to most.

For me I go back to the great depression, it was the programs that said lets put people to work, no matter what, that began to be a support, the rue for a good gumbo. We acknowledged and didn’t judge when the only job a person had was to turn over bricks in the street for the government. It was a job, a way of providing a living for themselves and supporting the community simultaneously. It worked, they have a job, they are making money they are productive members of society. Move ahead a few years and when the world was at war everyone helped, women left the traditional roles as housewife and became Rosie the Riveter. We survived because we all supported a cause and that cause was to live.

The thing I see about successful companies is that everyone feels supported and valued. I think I read somewhere that Jim Henson thought that no idea was a bad idea as a result he and his coworkers always had choices but more important they always felt heard, listened to, most of all respected in their roles in the business community he created.

On several occasions I have read or have seen people work together for what ever reason and are able to fill roles when and where needed. Sure they all had their main role but if necessary they would step into another role. I chose the words step into and not up for a specific reason, I say it because to think of yourself as a superior being is to think you are better than others, we regard some of the most important people in the world not because they were superior to us but because they were humble enough to say I am one of you. Nelson Mandela went to jail because he maintained there were no black people, no white people just people. He didn’t care if you had or were the most influential person on the planet he cared about what are you doing to help the living conditions of all the people in his country or even the world.

I never really spent much time with my dad, but the one thing I will always remember whether true or not is that he one day met John Wayne. He was walking by his boat and started a conversation with “that’s a nice boat you have there….” And went on to have a discussion about boats with John Wayne. My dad continued to talk about how just from that initial conversation that he was invited onto John Wayne’s boat. Not because he treated The Duke like a star but because he treated him like a regular person. When he finished telling this story he said “the greatest advice my dad, your grandfather, ever gave me is that you treat everyone the same as if they are equal to you if not better than you.”

I think often about that and I think about what it means to really support someone, a community, the world. The only conclusion I can come up with is in order to support someone, you have to give them opportunities, chances to do what they need to be productive themselves. Every persons’ means of survival is different, that means how you give is going to be different. Just know what you are supporting whether it is giving towards mostly operational costs or it is actually benefiting those in need.

-Jennie Nawrocki

Perceiving Worlds

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I recently read a book on perceiving other worlds the book was called just that, Perceiving Other Worlds written by Edward Thumboo.  The basic principle of the book is how a person or several people from one culture writes and lives within another culture and how those cultures may not intertwine or do.  Generally, the premise of the book is about what you would assume the title would imply. I would recommend reading this book only if you are interested in what I equate with as educational dissertations of a very scientific and research format, which at times I am.  While reading there was this one passage that struck me.  It was in the Cross Cultural Influences on the Work of a Singapore Writer, Essay, just one of the many essays within the novel. Within this essay the author quotes Socrates as he comments on Singapore’s folktales.  In short the writer wanted his work to be balanced between both cultural influences but I couldn’t help but think about this passage within the essay referencing the play Trial.

The play is about freedom of speech.  At the hinge, the turning point of the play, Socrates makes his self-defence.  He has been forbidden to utter anything that could be interpreted as seditious.  So he proposes to tell the audience in an innocuous fairy-tale, a local legend, the story of Redhill.  This is one of the very few genuine Singaporean legends, a real piece of our cultural heritage.  It’s the story of how the ancient kingdom of Temasek is attacked by a swordfish, and a bright lad proposes building a fence of banana stems so that the swordfish get stuck.  But the king’s wise men advise him that the smart kid is just too smart, he would soon be a menace to the throne.  The king has the boy executed, and his blood stains the earth red.  This is Socrates’ comment, this is how a bit of ancient Malay legend is brought to bear on where we are now:

“Till this very day beneath the blocks of flats and the community facilities of Redhill Estate, the earth is the colour of blood… The survival of this legend from the days of the royal despotism suggests that even then, men would not let tyranny and oppression pass without remark.  I see the story as an assertion that the earth itself remembers, and protests against, injustice done to one who thought differently from others.”

There are so many thoughts that can be construed from these two paragraphs, I am sure you are already thinking of your own.  One perspective I had was when a somebody asked me a question of which I always thought was quite racist, why did our civilization/culture (referring to the western way of life) excel more quickly than others?  We have to be more advanced than them, right?  I never felt comfortable when posed this question or with my response, which was always a maybe, I guess so, I don’t know.  I tried to be as indefinite in my response as possible but the question was repeated or the thought was stated several times during many conversations.  Still I can’t answer why some cultures remained third world, I do know some cultures want to keep their traditional ways, though as a result look third world but really they are a true hunter gatherer society compared to the technology infused first world environment we encounter today.  First world societies may have began the industrial revolution but in no way does it make us more intelligent than others as we all know and if in doubt it has been proven that intelligence can be measured in a variety of ways.

As I read this passage this conversation came to mind as well as some other thoughts.  I thought about the king and his people being happy, satisfied with their world and didn’t want to change anything.  Then I reread the passage and thought of how I have heard from people using different vernacular though the idea remains the same that we as Americans are sometimes referred to by Europeans as the sweepings they didn’t want.   Then I think as an American we are descendants of people who didn’t conform to the norm of that era.  Think about it most cultural changes came from someone who wanted a machine to improve their life or decrease lives in the thought of war, taking down royalty to live with a voice in government.  Every moment in history when a ruler wanted to take or make a society or culture in their way or was extremely oppressive to the general masses that ruler became over thrown.  However only cultures even in hunter gatherer societies where people felt free even under rule have remained that way for centuries.  In these instances the people may have not technically been free for they had kings, queens or other types leaders but the citizens felt provided for and comforted.  It is astonishing the extent of how much a person will volunteer their time and money even put up with hunger when they feel it is for the right cause.

However the passage above implies the complete opposite, it implies that those that can improve the state of the culture, even save the lives of its people being discarded as unintelligent castaways, the sweepings that no one wanted.  I then ask, are the people who migrated from their homeland sweepings just the same or are they free thinkers who envision the next computer or that the earth maybe round.  What traditions are upheld and what others do we open our mind to and begin.  The entire musical Fiddler on the Roof was based on this concept, heck we have had and are having religious wars over who is the real God and how to worship this deity.  I think years of debates have occurred over progress versus tradition even within a world of several cultures and sub-cultures.  Today, now that we are in the technology age we are able to interact with any cultures or multitudes ways of life.  As a result, I think this passage is more relevant to our global society than it ever was.  As there are countries all over the world interacting simultaneously with a variety of cultures and societies. It brings up the question, how does a blossoming global culture built on free thinkers interact with some other cultures who may punish those who have other thoughts that do not match the present authority?