Being a blogger or someone who writes their thoughts every week I watch my news feed quite a bit, it was a very busy week.  

I am in no position to lie, why? Because even when telling things from my point of view, perspective  or my side of the story, it seems everyone has instantaneous access to it.  There is no fooling the public when it is right out there for everyone to see.  Whether that is still true or may have changed recently but there is still the possibility, so I learned I have no secrets or privacy.  It is true someone always finds out.  So I have learned to live my life open and even without white lies. I have also learned to live without.  Unfortunately, to hear a yes that is beneficial and in my favor is a shocking surprise that I look forward to every day even if it may never happen again.  Take it from someone who’s monumental big brother (figuratively and literally) is always watching and controlling my news feed.  While I work at doing and thinking what is right. 

With layers and issues it is hard to separate everything. I fight the bad while thinking of the good.  However, It is not easy when one person wants you to think one way and you know the earth is round.  There is a part of me that is really messed up with everything around, I know this.  The argument is who started it but we know the reality.  We have suggested images etched in the mind from what it is to be believed versus what occurred.  It really is two fold they suggest something and I think, ugh and then I see what is suggested and then that is shown with another possibility then it is upped, my version their version until we all are puking because it got so gross and non of it happened in the first place to begin with, really it is all our imaginations our visions gone twilight zoneish.  I begged not to be inundated by these images,  that was just encouragement as well as anger and ignoring it or even saying no that never occurred, again only encouragement for several years this has gone on until I have found myself surrounded by this poisonous fruit in a room I am stuck in thinking maybe they will let me out maybe, though I know this is not the English Patient but really the Hunger Games with those berries in front of me.

I say what I say because I am the only one who will tell my side of the story. 

-Jennie Nawrocki 

Know there is an end that keeps hope alive.  It is the goal, it is building after disaster or from scratch either young or old.  Hold on to it because that is your strength. 

-Jennie Nawrocki 

I have no revelations this week or venting to spew.  I have been processing the world around.  I don’t think I am the only one who isn’t in the same spot.  I think the transition of the new year whether good or bad has effected most in some way. If you know me as much as I actively embrace positivity in as much of my world as I can, my life is the most unstable it has ever been and I am not just talking about the election of a new president, a transition we are all aware of now. I am talking little things too.  I recently started being a tourist in the city I live and saw this piece below that was intriguing.  I look at everything from here to there, things I had never seen before or things I see from a different point of view. It is all surreal sometimes and sometimes it is very real.  No matter how small or big your transition into the new year has been what matters is all those you included into your sanctuary of family and friends, through kindness towards others.

-Jennie Nawrocki 

PS. Sorry for the bad picture.

I traveled back and forth through time, really of all the memories I have and still try to piece it all together.  How did I get to where I am? I know I have an attitude towards stupid things, no reason to make excuses for it.  However I try to keep and be more positive even when upset. They say calm in times of turmoil shows your personality.  You may be amazed by how much I live by that goal.  Some work for money, of course out of necessity, but for some reason I work for other things like kindness.  I just thought that is what you were supposed to do, take care of other people, that part has never changed and I will work everyday to keep it that way.

-Jennie Nawrocki 

OSCARS!  You make every thing seem like it is just a movie but really it is all of our lives.  Thank you so much for everything.

– Jennie Nawrocki 

It is only necessary to think of others when thinking of creating a community.  How do you include the person on the street and the millionaire.  There was a segment I used to listen to on the radio about the rich and poor and how they are not so different,  for example a poor person might take a shower outside because they have too at the same time a rich person could have an outdoor shower near the pool or beach.  We are more similar than you think and we are all trying to live until you are old.  Be there for people and they will be there for you.

-Jennie Nawrocki 

Find yourself, they say, but for me it has always been whose dream are you going to fulfill next? What will become of those that do.  This world was based on opportunities either through luck, will, or natural ability that determines futures. They survive by hope. I don’t say that word often, in fact, I haven’t said it for a long time.  I feel my world has been without hope, it has been determined by me by others.  That isn’t a way for anyone to live. I may give suggestions to eat more healthy, save earth, stop being mean, but I will always make good dreams come true.

-Jennie Nawrocki 

Every year rival teams join together and play one big game, see who is better than the other or the game is played just to pass the time.  Whatever the reason, whom ever your competition is, invite them for pizza afterwards.

-Jennie Nawrocki 

There are days that by the second it seems I have been torn to shreds by something or someone.  It has made me lose my trust in people almost completely.  The only thing I have going for myself is some silly thought that people can’t be that horrible.  So when I see something and feel I should follow it. For what I understood it to be is for the good of all, basically society as a whole.  I trust it hesitant maybe but still give it a go, why because even if I am gullible and fall for some dirty trick again at least in the process I didn’t go against what I stood for in the first place, community of peace and togetherness.

-Jennie Nawrocki 

People often wonder why I’m not closer with my mother.  Why isn’t she my best friend.  I have spent much of my social media life trying to not talk about it, didn’t want to air family dirty laundry in public but there is this rumor that I don’t love her or want to be around her.  I have to tell you people who believe that then you don’t understand I have spent my whole life trying to have relationships that don’t involve her regardless of all the love I have for her.  Why?  I will explain.

When young I didn’t have many friends and the ones I did were great.  Though all that time never did I hear the words “Why don’t you invite ________ to dinner, movie, or camping?”  I had one birthday party with peers my own age.  In high school I was 18  and at my first job, of course in a pizza parlor but that is beside the point.  I was invited to be with all my work people for a late night snack at one of those all day diners.  Called my mom if I could go she said “be home in 20 mins” it took 20 minutes to drive home.  I didn’t go and was never asked again.  In college she was across the country and I wasn’t.  I was able to see and go places with no problems.  I learned then what having friends was like, for instance someone who would climb into a trunk of a car with you so I wouldn’t have to be alone and we could all go have dinner together. There are more, like staying up all night together because the other one had too.  These things I remember.  Before I finished my masters my mom was within a short driving distance.  Slowly we visited more and more went lots of places together and then it started again.  We got into a big argument because I went into town to talk with a friend during a extended week family reunion, I got back and she threatened to disown me if I left again my brother smiling at our conversation, enjoyed every minute of it.  Then last year I called and she asked if I had “made any friends where I am” and I told her “no” and she giggled slightly as she said “good” as if she had something to do with it and was very excited about it. So what did I do during this time growing up with pretty much only my mother I lived in what I termed sometime since that last phone call Lala Land, I know it was just a coincidence that movie came out with the same title.  Though somehow I will probably never make it because coincidencly also the movie No Rules Apply occurred not that my life was or is in movies because then I would be crazy.  So to my family possibly expecting me home, I will be home in 20 minutes as soon as I figure how.  Don’t worry mom I still haven’t made any friends for I know I am not allowed.

-Jennie Nawrocki