I can’t believe it

My future yesterday

Does not seem the same today

So long I wanted

Self sufficiency

I didn’t want

To be controlled

Now I am alone

And those

At the next table

Tell me

Canceled

I am nothing

Irrelevant

But what about

A husband

A house

A career

Then she sees

Herself in the future

The worst possible way

Sitting alone

In a restaurant

With a bad wig

Not imagining

Life as a old couple

But poor and alone

That ain’t a goal

It just sadness

I don’t even want

Nursing home aides

To care for me

alone leave me alone

Ugh!

Where do you want to retire?

Why does the security

Of the future

Through self-sufficiently

Seem so rewarding

There is no one there

No one

Ugh

I need to re think this

-Jennie Nawrocki